Boom! Haka lack!

A journalist receives an occasional press release so misguided, vague and mirthfully bizarre that it proves irresistible (albeit unusable in any serious reporting fashion). My colleagues and I took delivery yesterday of one such mailer, and we would be remiss not to share its quarter-literate majesty. We are unable to answer any of the superabundance of questions it raises.

PR Guru Richard J. Hillgrove VI, 42 years, did a Maori Haka on Glastonbury Tor with his children Richard J. Hillgrove VII, 10 years, and Lola Hillgrove, 3 years, at the weekend.

The ‘War Dance’ is in retaliation for what Hillgrove describes as a ‘stitch up’ by the HMRC for tax evasion.

“High profile targets have been sought out to make examples of, and I got caught in the firing line”.

Hillgrove is 1/16th Maori and 1/16th Viking (Danish). “A fierce combination,” says Hillgrove, which also gives him a penchant for performing the Haka.

Hillgrove’s Maori lineage is on his mother’s side, which was of high rank in the Ngati Awa Tribe in the Bay of Plenty. The Ngati Awa Tribe was allied to Ngati Toa in the conquest of Wellington and the Marlborough Sound in New Zealand.

Hillgrove is planning to Appeal the decision.