Whistleblower

THAT CONFIDENTIAL MEMO that was accidentally left in the photocopier, the e-mail sent 'Reply all' by mistake — they all make their way to Whistleblower. Or so he says ...

The following document was left in the photocopier at LexisNexis Butterworths after a Tax Awards planning meeting. It appears to be a list of awards that never quite made it on to the stage last Tuesday night …

Large firm awards:

• Most meaningless name for a tax team in a large firm.
• Most conflicted out tax team in a large firm (acts for both sides and the bank).
• Most obvious and well-known tax scheme reported under DOTAS by a large firm.
• Most arcane and obscure tax scheme not reported under DOTAS by a large firm.

Medium sized firm awards:

• Highest WIP in a medium sized firm (before adjusting for UITF 40).
• Best inactive tax team in a medium sized firm. (Judging criteria: team should inspire such questions as 'What do they do?' 'I thought they were in your management matrix?' 'I'm not having them in my budget targets!')

Small firm awards:

• Smallest tax team in a small firm (combined height divided by number in the team).
• Biggest bad debt in a small firm (firm must still be in existence to qualify).
• Best clairvoyant in a small firm.
• Worst client toilet in a small firm.

Any size firm awards:

• Best document shredding team.
• Best reasonable excuse for late-filed tax return.
• Most imaginative use of the white space award.
• Most confused tax team of the year.
• Biggest single fee note to value of work ratio.

Individual awards:

• Most obscure tax qualifications award.
• Most letters after your name award.
• Most pedantic tax practitioner award.
• Most offensive partner (audit partners not eligible, to give tax partners a chance).
• Least qualified Treasury minister.
• Tax smartarse of the year.

Issue: 4010 / Categories: