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Catching more green ones

Jun 11, 2008, 06:48 AM
Authors : Richard
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Post date : Jun 11, 2008, 06:48 AM
Probably greenbacks in this case.
Hardly a day seems to go by now without more news of MPs or MEPs making dubious expenses claims.
The latest is Conservative Party chairman (or should that be chairwoman or even chair, which I think never really works) Caroline Spelman who seems to have made payments to her nanny (sorry, I should say her children’s nanny) from parliamentary funds.
It would appear that there was some confusion over where familial duties ended and parliamentary ones started as far as I can see.
Like an efficient nanny changing nappies, someone needs to get to the bottom of this and perform a similar exercise with these expenses claims.
I would think that a very large pile of wet wipes is going to come in handy – and Rufus the Dog says he thinks there are some spare dog poo bags in the cupboard under the stairs that he might be able to donate to the cause.
Anyway, who better to perform this rather unsavoury duty than our favourite, nanny, HMRC?
She has never held back from delivering some spoonfuls of cod liver oil to the tax system in the past and has administered ‘purges’ to various sectors; small businesses, property owners, the building industry, restaurateurs come immediately to mind.
Why not add MPs and MEPs to the list?
A standard letter sent to them all asking whether they are sure that their expenses claims meet the requirements of the Taxes Acts and whether they believe that the settlements or IR35 legislation might apply to them should be interesting.
Perhaps HMRC could add that anyone who comes clean now (a la offshore account holders) gets away with the tax, interest and a limited 10% penalty.

This could give interesting results, before HMRC pull on the rubber gloves and start whipping off those messy nappies to expose things that many would probably prefer not to see the light of day!
Is it time for a story now, nanny?


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