...A Darling The great Ally D. Form: 11 Downing.
3 March: Foreign profits prep to be handed in.
4 March: Budget Day? Foreign profits corrections to do.
5 March: Read Taxation.
9 March: Get eyebrows dyed.
10 March: Announce that recession now worst since 1930s.
11 March: Budget Day? Get ready for G20 milk monitors’ party. Buy sandwiches, cakes and lashings of ginger beer.
12 March: Read Taxation.
13 March: Announce recession now worst in a century.
14 March: G20 party with my milk monitor pals. Eat sandwiches and cakes and drink lashings of ginger beer. Play ‘pass the toxic debt parcel’ and ‘pin the blame on the global economy’.
15 March: Feeling sick: too many sandwiches, cake, etc. Visit school nurse.
17 March: Six of the best from head prefect J McFall for hanging around with merchant bankers behind bike sheds.
18 March: Budget Day? Still can’t sit down, don’t want to look as if I’m squirming uncomfortably on my big day.
19 March: Read Taxation.
20 March: Announce recession now worst since Napoleonic wars.
24 March: Me and Gordon in detention; not done our prep for his big meeting.
25 March: Budget Day? Gordon and me still in detention.
26 March: Read Taxation.
27 March: Announce recession now worst since Great Fire of London (n.b. if it happened again, could banks claim on their insurance? Might give them some more capital to lend).
1 April: Absolutely, definitely, positively last date for Budget Day. April fool!
2 April: HOLS! To Gordon’s for sleepover with Barry, Angela, Nicolas, etc.
12 April: EASTER EGGS! (Check receipts for 2.5% VAT reduction).
20 April: Back to skool…
22 April: Budget Day (no, really, I mean it this time).
23 April: Cancel Taxation.
Read our June 2020 Covid-19 supplement
Read the Tax Systems Guide to MTD in 2021