One assumes that David Cameron’s office wall bears a map of Britain with several spots marked, ‘There be beasties here’.

Voters should expect the opposition leader to soon set out his plan to tackle the county’s growing dragon problem.

First, of course, he has to make good on the promise he made today: to review the myths, urban legends and half-truths attributed to the business of health and safety.

Except, the top Tory would have us believe in the veracity of stories about conker-playing kids forced to wear goggles and councils banning hanging flower baskets.

Clearly his speech to the Policy Exchange think-tank was intended to appeal to the Daily Mail-reading crackpots in ‘middle England’ who believe every bit of nonsense they read about – sigh – ‘elf ‘n’ safety’.

It’s worrying stuff, and what’s even more troubling is the fact that the people who are insisting some businesses really do ban tinsel at Christmas for fear of causing accidental office strangulations are the same lot who could soon be in charge of the UK’s tax policy.

If they stick to type we can expect promises to scrap inheritance tax, abolish stamp duty, axe higher income tax rates, and stop hardworking families’ money being spent on winged unicorns for asylum seekers from Brigadoon.

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