MEMORANDUM – CONFIDENTIAL
From: HMRC marketing dept.
To: Working Together team and other stakeholders as advised

We are considering an advertising campaign to encourage agents to respond to the questions in the consultation document Establishing the Future Relationship Between the Tax Agent Community and HMRC.

Our advertising agency has picked up on the ‘relationship’ aspect and proposes a short television advert with the following script.

Please let us have your thoughts on this.

HMRC (represented by a slightly overweight man in a crumpled suit and with traces of lipstick on his shirt collar. He is holding the condoc and a bunch of flowers that are wilting slightly. We catch a glimpse of an ‘in memorium’ card attached): Darling, don’t be like that. Come over here and give me a cuddle.

Agent (represented by a woman who seems slightly haggard and more than a little tired and is looking away): No! Go away. You’re not getting round me with a bunch of mouldy old flowers.

HMRC: I’m sorry, honey. I’ve seen the error of my ways. I’ve really changed. I promise I have.

Agent: Changed? I’ll believe that when I see it. What about the unreturned calls, the unanswered letters? The hours spent waiting for a call, a letter, even a note to acknowledge my existence.

HMRC: Babes, I’m sorry. I took you for granted, but I want to discuss our relationship. We used to speak regularly and do little things for each other. We gotta learn to trust each other again.

Agent: But you’ve not done anything for me for years; anyway I think that there are lots of issues to be resolved between us before we can 'work together' again.

HMRC: Maybe all I need is a little encouragement. C’mon, baby! I’m in touch with my feminine side, and I’ve written down some ideas of things we could do for each other. (He waves the condoc.)

Agent: Well, you can probably put some of those things out of your mind right now. But let me see. (She takes the document). Maybe I’ll call you in a couple of weeks.

HMRC: Please do. I’m counting on it. Don’t make me beg!

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