This blog's connection to all things lavatorial is now, one fears, immutable. As such, I feel it's my obligation to write about arguably the most spurious, tacky press release my colleagues and I have ever found in our in-boxes. The sender? Well, let's just say the name began with a T and rhymed with herds. (How on Earth did that elude our company's spam police?) The subject: a 'range of collectables and merchandise with an ironic take on the world of celebrity'. They're based on... you can easily guess. Harry Plopper, Strain Poony: the list of punningly named items sinks further and further around the U-bend, simultaneously stinking up the room. Why has Taxation been alerted to this tasteless tat?It's hardly relevant to us, is it? Well, according to the email, 'the 2003 collection bought for £9.99 a piece... are now changing hands for around £70 each. Within the same time frame, a £10 investment with Merrill Lynch Gold & General has seen a return of just £40.15'. Yep! Totally irrelevant. But a promising investment opportunity, nevertheless. All the same, I'm not exactly busting. To spend my money on poo-themed gewgaws, that is.