Straining to be relevant

Mar 26, 2008, 03:55 AM

Authors : Daniel

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Post date : Mar 26, 2008, 03:55 AM

This blog's connection to all things lavatorial is now, one fears, immutable.
As such, I feel it's my obligation to write about arguably the most spurious, tacky press release my colleagues and I have ever found in our in-boxes.
The sender? Well, let's just say the name began with a T and rhymed with herds. (How on Earth did that elude our company's spam police?)
The subject: a 'range of collectables and merchandise with an ironic take on the world of celebrity'.
They're based on... you can easily guess.
Harry Plopper, Strain Poony: the list of punningly named items sinks further and further around the U-bend, simultaneously stinking up the room.
Why has Taxation been alerted to this tasteless tat? It's hardly relevant to us, is it?
Well, according to the email, 'the 2003 collection bought for £9.99 a piece... are now changing hands for around £70 each. Within the same time frame, a £10 investment with Merrill Lynch Gold & General has seen a return of just £40.15'.
Yep! Totally irrelevant.
But a promising investment opportunity, nevertheless.
All the same, I'm not exactly busting.
To spend my money on poo-themed gewgaws, that is.

Now wash your hands and return to Taxation.co.uk.

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