George Osborne’s rough notes for his summer Budget speech were recently retrieved from a litter bin in No.11 Downing Street. The scribblings – in green permanent marker on a Pom-Bear packet – are presented below.
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Avoidance: act all “grrrrrrrr” about it (but be “meh”).
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CGT: more changes to entrepreneurs’ relief. Improvise here.
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Pensions: ?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
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IHT: check 8 July’s Daily Mail for policy.
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Industry: spurious tax break for boat builders, for sake of “rudderless Labour” gag.
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Welfare: have IDS re-redefine poverty level as lower than annual earnings of a centaur.
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BBC: extra levy on listening to Chris Evans’s Radio 2 breakfast show. (“Cloth-ears supertax”.)
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Non-doms: the people whose newspapers will critique this Budget.
- Repeat, “Austerity is working”. (Note to self: austerity isn’t working.)
There then follows a crude drawing of the chancellor’s head on a “squillion pound note”.
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